Every mum’s story is different. There are first time mums, fifth time mums, foster mums, single mums, married mums, divorced mums, mums that are just figuring it out mums (plus the rest) - but whilst they are all different, they all have one thing in common. They are mums.
I became a mum for the first time on July 30th 2020 at 2:21PM. Born weighing 7 pounds 11 and being more perfect than I could have ever imagined, Eric instantly stole my heart.
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| I couldn't love this photo any more if I tried! I mean, come on! How cute?! |
And almost 9 months later, somehow, I still wake up loving him that little bit more each and every day.
If I had a pound for every time I told Eric how much I love him, I’d be a very, very rich woman. I would do anything for him, and even on the days when I feel as though an electric shock and an IV of coffee are the only things that could possibly keep me from falling asleep, I wouldn’t change a thing.
Being a mum is the single most incredible and rewarding job in the entire world. Every day is the greatest gift. But make no mistake, albeit the best job in the world, it’s also the hardest.
Nobody can fully prepare you for those sleepless nights, or for the times in which your baby is under the weather and nothing will pacify them. And nobody can ever prepare you for the cocktail of physical and emotional exhaustion that you’ll feel on the regular.
But somehow, with no real ‘how to’ manual, we do it. We get up and we mum every single day.
And for that, we must applaud ourselves. We really are awesome.
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| Eric is particularly interested in my take-out coffee habit at the moment! |
Which is why I find it particularly hard to accept and to understand why mummy shaming still exists in the 21st century.
Judgey mums have always been a thing - and we all know the type. Some come in the form of keyboard warriors on online threads claiming that they’ve never so much as let their child smell a chocolate button, and that their baby said their first word at 4 months old - 'you mean your child is a year old and still hasn’t started talking? You must be doing something wrong.' Oh, and let's not forget those that have things to say about mums that find the time to wear makeup and clean their house regularly - 'you should be focusing on your child, not your house.''
Yawn.
And then there are the ones that can’t help but tell you what you should and shouldn’t be doing - 'you should be getting them in bed at 7PM every night by now', 'they should be sleeping through by now', 'you need to be looking at getting them a place in nursery now.'
Ugh.
Oh, and the 'you're not breastfeeding? Why?!' shamers - how could I possibly forget those?
Argh!
I’m sorry but no. This needs to stop!
I had to write this blog post because I am so tired of hearing all of these ridiculous rules on the 'right way' to parent. There is no ‘one size fits all’ with any baby, toddler or child, and to suggest otherwise is completely unacceptable.
Here’s what I know for a fact about my baby:
- He is fed healthy, homemade food for every meal
- He is bathed every day
- He smiles a lot
- He loves reading time
- He loves his pet dog
- He loves to be bounced up and down
- He laughs when we laugh
- He has more toys than any child could ever need - but he would still rather play with my hairbrush
But most importantly...
- He is happy
- He is loved
- And he knows it
If you’re reading this and you’re a mum that has been subjected to some kind of judgement during your motherhood journey, then I want to remind you that you are not alone and that you’re doing a great job. As long as you know that your baby is happy, then quite frankly, sod what anybody else has to say.
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| I will never get over these little sunglasses from Banz! |
On the flip side of this, if you’re reading this blog post and you’re beginning to realise that you have been, or still are, that judgey mum, please try to take things back to basics. The first thing I ever remember my mum teaching me was that if I had nothing nice to say, then to not say anything at all. Surely you remember that?
Mummies of the world, you are incredible, and from one mummy to another, I salute you.
Thank you for reading and please share this post with anyone you feel needs to read it 💜.
You can read all of my mummy life updates & advice here.
Lots of love,
Grace x
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