As someone who has had - and still does have, though perhaps not as severe as in the past - their fair share of battles with mental health, primarily anxiety, I completely appreciate the struggles that anyone suffering with one or more of these issues may be facing. Mental health is a very difficult thing to understand if you yourself aren’t physically experiencing it, and I think this is where one of the biggest issues lies. After all, of people don’t understand why we are feeling the way we do, how can they possibly help us?
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| Meditation and yoga are both great ways to relief stress and anxiety |
Fortunately, there is now a lot of help out there and providing you know where to go to seek that help, you will always find that there is someone available to speak to who does understand how you are feeling. The flip side of this is that far too many people choose to take matters into their own hands, and this is actually what triggered me to write this post and put my feelings on this subject matter onto paper.
Yesterday, whilst working from home, I was alarmed, shocked, and upset to discover a news update from Sky News on my phone, alerting me that a past Love Island contestant had passed away. Sophie Gradon, who was just 32 years old when discovered deceased at her parents home yesterday, appeared on the second series of the hit ITV 2 reality show, and while the article didn’t state that she had taken her life, reading between the lines, I already knew in my heart that this was the case.
I think it’s so strange that even though we don’t know someone personally, we can still feel so deeply affected when something terrible happens to them - particularly if we can relate in some kind of way. I remember watching Sophie on Love Island back in 2016 and I remember always thinking how powerful and confident she was. In fact, I actually remember saying to Marc “that’s the kind of girl you wouldn’t want to get caught in an argument with!” She was fierce and sassy - the kind of fiery soul that many women aspire to become. She also had one of the most beautiful, memorable smiles - something that many articles have mentioned since her passing - and this to me is even more ‘strange’ - on the surface at least. After all, how could someone with such an inspirational attitude and a gorgeous soul be so unhappy?
It doesn’t make sense, right?
Well, this is where the confusion lies for a lot of people, but let me tell you, anybody can force a smile and anybody can appear happy. In fact, the strongest people will almost always appear happy, which is why when these things happen, there is such a huge shock and disbelief. Sophie may have looked happy in her Instagram posts, but it’s clear to see that her issues weren’t something she always shared with her thousands of followers.
The thing is, we now live in a world where we can share just as little or just as much as we want. There’s no rules, and if we’re honest with ourselves, we’d probably all admit to the fact that we share the best snippets of our lives, cutting out the unhappy times and as a result, creating the illusion of the ‘perfect’ life. In some ways, this is great - I for one am an advocate for social media being a positive outlet and a ‘happy’ space. There are far too many negative things online already, so seeing a series of smiley selfies on my news feed is actually something I find really soothing and uplifting. Unfortunately though, some of those smiles aren’t quite as genuine as they might appear - and this is obviously what the case was with Sophie.
It was only after her death that Sophie’s friends, families and social media followers noticed a pattern of concerning posts - mostly on her Twitter feed. She had shared a few quotes contemplating the meaning of life, leading everyone to believe that her decision to take her life perhaps wasn’t so spur-of-the-moment as it may have appeared.
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| Green spaces are great for mindfulness. If you are feeling stressed or anxious, make time to go for a walk in the woods and really make time to appreciate the beauty of the natural beauty surrounding you. |
Last night, I ended up reading about 20 articles (quite literally) abour all of this and none of them made me feel any better. They made me feel sad and they made me feel really worried. When these things happen, I find myself questioning if we really are doing enough to help people in their hour of need? Why is it that people are still so reluctant to voice how they feel? Is mental health still deemed ‘weird’ or ‘crazy’, even in our forward-thinking society?
I didn’t think so, but perhaps it is.
Even now I’m writing this post, I’m not too sure where I’m heading with it, but I guess I felt compelled to share my own view on mental health and to open up about my own struggles. As someone who has suffered with severe anxiety - and still does suffer, though not as badly - I always find that listening to someone else and being able to talk to someone else who understands is always extremely comforting. Anxiety, depression and all other mental health issues can make the person suffering feel terribly isolated and alone, but if there’s one thing I’ve learned through my battle with anxiety, it’s that you are most certainly not alone.
I used be so terrified of speaking about how I felt. I was petrified of being labelled in some kind of negative or ignorant way. ‘Will they think I’m weird?’ ‘Will they think I’m crazy?’ ‘Will they think I’m an attention seeker?’ I’ve been there, and it’s a really horrible place to be. Opening up about how you feel is by no means easy, but once you are able to accept that your struggles do not define you or weaken you, you will be able to take a step forward for the first time in what may feel like forever.
The biggest issue for me when speaking about my anxiety was how Marc, my now fiancé, would react. Marc and I have always joked about how I’m the worrier in the relationship, but actually confiding In him on a deeper level was really difficult for me. I guess I felt as though his opinion of me may change, or he might look at me differently somehow, but he didn’t. While Marc cannot directly relate to things I have experienced and felt - panic attack’s for example (and bad ones at that) he has always been extremely supportive and caring. Without his help, and that or my close family and friends, I honestly don’t know what I would have done.
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| No matter how busy you are, always make time to talk. Have a nice coffee, eat healthy food and fill your home with beautiful flowers. The space around you can massively impact how you feel. |
But I appreciate, everyone’s circumstances are different, and some people aren’t as lucky as I have been to have that strong level of support. In any case, I genuinely cannot say this enough - you are not alone. Someone out there, whether you have spoken to them or not before, will willingly help you through whatever it is you are struggling with.
There are now numerous mental health charities in the UK, and worldwide providing round the clock support to those in need. Their help is free, confidential and unlimited. Whether you need just 5 minutes of reassurance or a full, hour-long chat, they will be there to help you every step of the way.
While this blog post isn’t quite as cheery and happy as my usual content, I really hope that some of you - or failing that, even one of you - found some comfort from this. It’s hard to see the good when you are feeling so lost inside, but trust me, things can and will get better.
Here are a list of charities that help support those suffering from mental health issues:
For a further list of charities, head over to Time To Change.
I look forward to sharing more with you all very soon. Have a lovely weekend.
Lots of love,
Grace
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