A nice pert bottom and a winning smile will always score major brownie points, but the one thing that is sexier and more attractive than anything else in the world is self-confidence. And it’s one thing that a select few have in abundance, but the majority of us seriously lack.
Self-confidence means different things to different people. But ultimately, it’s all about being wholly content and happy just being you. Not you when you’ve had a few glasses of vino on a Friday night and not you when you’ve FaceTuned a selfie of yourself to the point that it no longer looks like you. It’s just loving who you are just the way you are.
Being self-confident and self-assured acts as a magnet. We are naturally drawn to people that are confident and we can’t help but be in awe of them.
But who is to say that you too can’t ooze that self-love, too?
For this blog post I thought I would share my top tips on how to be more self-confident and truly become the person that you’ve always aspired to be. So, if you're on a mission to build self-confidence and fall in love with yourself, then you've arrived at the perfect place.
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| One of the things that makes me most confident is the fact that I am a great mum to Eric |
1. Engage in positive self-talk - big yourself up a bit!
We all put ourselves down way too much, and it’s such an unhealthy thing to do. If a friend or family member said ‘I look ugly today’ or ‘I feel fat’, we would be the first to jump in there and tell them otherwise. And yet we continue to speak to ourselves in this same negative way.
Instead of pointing out all the little things you aren’t happy with or that are bothering you - aesthetically, in your professional life or anything else - focus on what you love about yourself instead. Be kind to yourself and take the time to really identify the things that make you unique and wonderful.
2. Be present and fully live in the moment
One thing that I have discovered is that when I over-plan things, I become more stressed and more unhappy. I seem to get myself so worked up when I plan ahead too much - and I think that’s because I feel I have failed in some way when that plan doesn’t work out exactly as I had envisaged.
Having recognised this pattern, I now always do my best to live in the moment and avoid planning too much. Sometimes, it does it good to just go with the flow a little bit. Not everything in life goes according to plan, so stop putting pressure on things - yourself especially - and put your trust in the natural process of events.
3. Acknowledge your strengths and celebrate them
Do you hair gorgeous silky hair? Super neat handwriting? Perhaps you’re known for making the best Sunday roast in all the land? Whatever those things are that make you fabulous, be sure to celebrate them!
I know that I for one am all too quick to point out the things that I’m not very good at or that I don’t like about myself - and I think this is something that we are all guilty of.
But if we started to applaud what we do love about ourselves and what we are good at, we would feel so much happier within ourselves.
So, next time you find yourself staring in the mirror when you’re having a bad skin day and feeling super insecure, stop. Dwelling on your insecurities will not only put you in a bad mood, but it will majorly impact your self confidence, too.
4. Establish what may have damaged your confidence in the first place
There is such a thing as being naturally self confident, but a lot of the time, the reason that people feel insecure or lack in confidence somewhat, is because something that they’ve experienced in their past.
This isn’t necessarily anything huge or terribly traumatic - ir could even be something as small as a comment someone made about them during primary school (I honestly believe that you always remember the things you were teased for in school - those things definitely stick with you for life.) Or it could even be due to a past relationship - a partner being unfaithful in some way can lead to feeling insecure.
If you think there is a particular reason as to why your confidence isn’t where you’d like it to be, write that reason down and think about how you feel about that certain thing/comment/experience now. Also, I think it’s always really worthwhile noting that those who bully others - be that based on their character, looks or whatever else - are usually the most insecure people of all. Happy people that are fully content in their own skin generally feel no need to bring others down.
5. Visualise yourself as you want to be & try to embody exactly that
It may sound a little cliche but every day really is an opportunity to reinvent yourself - but not as a totally different person, just a more confident and vibrant version of the existing you.
There are very few of us that are 100% happy with where we are at and feel that we have achieved everything we want to achieve. And there will always be something else that’s on our list of to-do’s! But when it comes to how we want to appear and what we want to feel about ourselves/the energy we wish to put out into the universe, that very version of ourselves is the one we need to focus on and to embody completely.
Personally, I want others to feel my warm energy, my enthusiasm, my intelligence and my zest for life. I want my confidence to shine through every aspect of my being, and this is what I focus on sharing with the world.
6. Take great care of yourself
A little self care really does go such a long way, so if it’s been a while since you last pampered yourself, or you’re feeling particularly down in the dumps for whatever reason, be sure to set some time aside to focus solely on yourself.
Life is busy and there’s always something else that pops up or seems to take priority, but sometimes, you really do just need to hit the pause button and check out for a bit. Pop on your favourite tv programme, do your nails, put a face mask on (I love the Garnier Hyaluronic Acid Sheet Mask), apply a fresh layer of tan (you just can't beat the St Tropez Express Gel and the St Tropez Purity Mist!) - literally whatever it is that makes you feel good about yourself, that’s what you need to do.
7. Consider your insecurities and transform them into positives
Our insecurities are extremely personal to us / so much so in fact that we often prefer to not discuss them with anyone at all. And that’s completely fine. However, sometimes, it may be worth having a proper think about those insecurities and how we can perhaps turn them around into things that we actually like.
When I was in my teens, one of the things I was most insecure about was my height. I’m only very petite - a size 6-8 and 5’1 tall - but as all my friends were super tall (or they felt it to me, anyway!) I just felt like the odd one out & all I wanted was to be taller. But now, when I look back, I can’t believe I was so concerned about my height! I actually love being shorter now. It’s a part of who I am and I couldn’t imagine being - or ever want to be - any other way.
My point is that the things we often feel insecure about actually turn out to be the things we learn to love the most. We just need to adjust our way of thinking a little so that we learn to celebrate those unique qualities, rather than resenting them.
8. Dress to suit your body type
We are all free to wear whatever it is we love the most - and that is completely irrespective of how tall we are, skinny we are, curvy we are or whatever else. Which is exactly how it should be.
However, with that said, it is beneficial to know what types of clothes best suit our figures.
Having an understanding of what suits us can help us to accentuate our best assets and draw attention to the parts of our bodies that we love the most. It can also detract from those parts we are slightly less fond of, giving us greater body confidence.
9. Have a social media clear out
If you’re still following all those accounts that make you feel inadequate or bad about yourself in some way, then it’s time to have a social media clear out.
Platforms like Instagram are wonderful in some ways, but quite the opposite in others - which is why we have to be very tactical and wise in how we use our social media channels.
I choose to follow accounts that make me laugh, inspire me and provide me with some form of escapism (Earthpix is a fantastic account if you love beautiful travel photos!)
And in making these choices, I feel I genuinely benefit from social media - rather than falling victim to it. It’s so important to not allow the content on social media to negatively impact you - but that’s so much easier said than done. My advice would just be to have a look through your follow list and genuinely ask yourself whether or not those hashtags and accounts benefit you in some way. If they don’t - or worse yet, they make you feel unhappy in some way - then it’s time to click the unfollow button.
Becoming more confident in ourselves isn’t something that we can just click our fingers and achieve overnight (if only!) but by following these steps, you’ll soon start to love yourself more and exude confidence!
I so hope you all enjoyed this post & can’t wait to share more with you all very soon.
Lots of love,
Grace x
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